Digital Parent Transformation 


INDEX



INTRODUCTION 

If you are the parent whose child possesses an Internet enabled device, ask yourself these 3 questions- 

Parenting challenges continuously evolve with each new generation. Digital technology has been a persistent concern since the introduction of television. However, the landscape of digital technology has transformed significantly, from the era of black and white televisions. And now the permeation of AI in our daily lives is keeping parents awake because these are uncharted territories. 

Most parents don't have any idea about their children’s online activities. According to some studies, most parents are only concerned about how the overuse of the screens is adversely affecting their children’s eyes, health and academic performance. At times parents are not able to look beyond the overuse of the screen, whereas misuse of the Internet can happen within a few seconds, which can be extremely damaging to a young mind. Pornography, toxic trends,  addictions, cyberbullying, stalking, and identity theft, are a few things that a child can be exposed to on the Internet. 

In the post covid world, the Internet has become more intermingled with our lives than ever. And unfortunately, we cannot just wish it away. 

But there is no problem without a solution. The solution to this problem lies in effective Digital Parenting. I wouldn’t say it is a simple solution, but it exists !
I am proud to say that the book in your hands is a pioneer in many ways. It is not a book full of readymade, quick fixes or self help tips. It is a book that can help you achieve tangible and lasting modification in your child’s online behaviour. 

Here are 4 key aspects of the book, which make it the first comprehensive work of its kind - 

Due to its comprehensive approach, this book holds the distinction of being the first book on the topic of "Digital Parent Transformation".


In summary, this path breaking book on Digital Parenting serves as a knowledgeable companion, offering guidance, sharing experiences, and empowering parents to raise Internet Mature children with confidence. Thus bringing us closer to the goal of “Every Child Internet Mature”, one reader at a time. 


Motivation behind writing this book - 

Aarav, a 14 year old boy from New Delhi, was addicted to PUBG; Riddhi, a 13 year old girl from Indore, was found playing the blue whale game; Pravita, a 17 year old girl from Bhopal, was groomed to run away from home on the pretext of building a career in films; Himanshu, an 18 year old boy from Nagpur, gave up on his writing due to cyberbullying at the hands of his jealous classmates; Latika, a 15 year old girl from Pune, who was experiencing headaches, vertigo, nausea, eye strain, and neck stiffness, was diagnosed with cervical spondylitis. She was on screen for long hours and in a bad posture; Kanishk, a 12 year old boy from Lucknow, inspired by Grand Theft Auto, started showing signs of aggression to the extent that he pushed his grandfather aside because the grandfather was asking the boy to reach the bus stop on time; Manav, a 15 year old boy from Jaipur, became addicted to watching porn.....These are just a few examples of the everyday cases that I come across as a counsellor. I have been coming across such instances since 2016, when I started my job as a school counsellor, and I have witnessed their number increasing eversince. (All names have been changed to prevent breach of confidentiality agreement.)

There are several similar anecdotes which became the motivation to write this book on Digital Parent Transformation. 

As a psychologist, I am fervent to address the psychological and emotional challenges that arise from excessive screen time, cyberbullying, online privacy concerns, and social media pressures. Aarav, Riddhi, Manav, Pravita, Himanshu, and many other children serve as examples of the cases I have witnessed, and I'm certain you have seen similar situations in your families & neighbourhoods. Unfortunately, by the time these issues reach parents or counsellors, it is often too late. They leave behind a significant mess for the child and the family to clean up. Even if the child and parents find the right help, the damage has already been done. No amount of counselling or post-incident interventions can restore the lost innocence of the child. Children may suffer from low self-esteem, lack of confidence, fear of socialising, and lack of trust for many years to come. In most cases, the child's deteriorating mental health also causes mental health issues such as stress, anxiety, frustration, helplessness, and depression in their parents.

There are hundreds of millions of children who require intervention after negative events have occurred, and even if EVERY counsellor in the world were trained to handle just this, it would still not be enough. This realisation instantly made me feel desperate and helpless. The ratio of children  to counsellors will never be sufficient. So the only option left is to empower the parents. Empower them not to react after an incident has happened but to proactively prevent any digital mishaps with their children. From that point on, I focused all my energies to design a proactive approach rather than a reactive one, aimed at parents. My research shows that the best proactive approach for the parent would be to develop Internet Maturity in their children. It can surely save both children and parents from a world of difficulties.


Another vital motivation for the book came from the observation that parents face a barrier in communication with their children, especially about matters pertaining to the Internet and the digital world. The parents of adolescents and teenagers are especially seen complaining that their children are absorbed in their own world. In my observation, I have noticed 2 major reasons for this lack of communication

Children need common ground for communication, it is easy to pique their interest by addressing things that interest them. So if the parents stop seeing the Internet as their children’s enemy, they will be able to develop a healthy communication channel with their children, while also developing Internet Maturity in them. So rather than viewing the Internet as an immensely dangerous place with limited opportunities, it should be seen as a space with vast opportunities and some risks. Risks which can be prevented with some effort in the right direction.

Now, a question may arise as to why the parents are being addressed rather than the children. Afterall the main motto is to make ‘Every Child Internet Mature’ 

Here is the short answer - 

First of all, the maximum use of the Internet by the child happens at home. 

Secondly, Internet Maturity is about permanent behaviour change in the child, not an occasional display of some digital skills. We want the child to always choose “constructive & safe” actions on the Internet. To achieve this permanent behaviour modification, the child needs to be consistently motivated, inspired and mentored. And, only a parent can provide this consistency throughout the growth years of the child.

The long answer is - whatever is written in this book. 

                                                                  ~~~~@~~~~


The world needs more healthy, balanced, and well-rounded children, just as much as children need a healthy environment to thrive in. ~ Dr. Geetanjali Jha


CHAPTER 1

WHAT IS DIGITAL PARENTING AND WHO IS A DIGITAL PARENT?


Traditional parenting took care of the physical, emotional, social, educational and moral development of the child. The latest and probably the most significant addition to the list of parents’ responsibilities is Digital Parenting. 

Digital Parenting is all about recognizing and addressing the challenges and opportunities presented by technology and the online world. Any parent can get the tag of “Digital Parent” simply by providing the digital devices with Internet access to the child. 

In my experience with children like Parthvi, Kartik, Aarav, Riddhi etc., who faced digital issues. I observed that their parents were concerned Digital Parents. They were aware that their children are exposed to many threats & risks when they are online. Yet they could not protect their children from encountering problems. But their children still encountered problems like cyberbullying, stalking, brain washing, unintentionally falling into criminal activities etc etc. Most Digital Parents evolve into “concerned” Digital Parents - aware about the threats & risks. They keep worrying about those and instructing the child about a few Don'ts.

But that doesn’t help. Just being a concerned Digital Parent is not enough in this day and age. 

This is because just being aware of the potential dangers is not enough. Installing antivirus software, fire walls, parental controls is not enough. Having screen time discipline is not enough. All of these things only work to a certain extent. None of these are powerful enough to inculcate the discernment -wisdom - judiciousness of using the Internet in children. 

The discernment, that guides the child's behaviour throughout his life, even when parental monitoring, parental discipline, and parental control software are not present. The discernment -wisdom - and judiciousness that I am talking about are collectively called Internet Maturity.

WHAT IS “Internet Maturity”?

I have used this term Internet Maturity several times till now, allow me explain it, and its components in detail. 

Internet Maturity refers to an individual's level of understanding, skills, and responsible behaviour when using the Internet. It involves developing a critical awareness of the opportunities and risks presented by the online world, making informed decisions, and engaging in responsible digital practices. Internet Maturity encompasses various aspects, including digital literacy, online safety, ethical behaviour, and responsible Digital Citizenship.


THE KEY ELEMENTS OF Internet Maturity ARE - 


Internet Maturity is a continuous journey that requires ongoing learning, adaptation, and staying informed about the evolving digital landscape. It is important for individuals to develop these skills and behaviours to safely and responsibly navigate the Internet, protect themselves and others, and fully utilise the benefits of the digital world.


If you are asking yourself the following question…….

“If Digital Parenting is not enough, then what is it that can help develop Internet Maturity in children”, …...then pat yourself on the back, as you are on the right track !

 

The answer is - In order to inculcate Internet Maturity in your child, you will need to transform from a Digital Parent into a Digital Leader. And that is the crux of this book - to help you undergo this transformative journey…..!


THE JOURNEY FROM Digital Parent TO Digital Leader

The journey of a Digital Parent starts when they become aware of the digital world's impact on their child's life and recognize the need to actively engage in guiding and supporting their child's digital activities. It begins when a child gains access to digital devices or the Internet, which can happen at a young age in today's world. But this is not enough.

It is an ongoing process that evolves as technology advances and as the child grows and develops. The challenges and demands of Digital Parenting change as children become more independent and encounter new digital experiences. 

Although the journey of a Digital Parent does not have a definitive end point, I have tried to map this journey with certain milestones, which lead a parent to becoming a Digital


The journey from a Digital Parent to Digital Leader may culminate as the children become Internet Mature. However, even after the attainment of Internet Maturity, the children may look up to their parents as ‘Digital Advisors’ during all stages of life. For example, if you are a financial expert and train your child in financial expertise, probably after a point you may not need to handhold your child regarding financial matters. But you may still advise him regarding investments, banking, and putting the money to good use, even when your child becomes a financially independent adult. 

Similarly, after making your child Internet Mature, you can (and should) continue as the wise ‘Digital Advisor’. You can provide sound advice on digital matters as and when required. Afterall Internet Maturity is all about wisdom, and not tech-savviness. 


Ultimately, this journey is characterised by ongoing learning, adaptability, and maintaining a strong connection with their child, fostering a healthy and responsible approach to technology use throughout their lives.